Oceans 12
by Jonathan the Fanfiction Mogul
Summary: A story based on the movie Oceans 11 with another character, deleted scenes, added scenes, and more! R/R please
1. Part 1- Your either in or your out-

Oceans 12

When one man gets out, you wind up in.

Authors Note- THERE IS NOTHING TO DO WITH MAGIC IN HERE! VOLDEMORT IS NEVER MENTIONED. THERE ARE LOTS OF CHANGES FROM THE MOVIE MADE AND LOOKS ARE TOTALLY DIFFERENT.

On a lighter note. A few differences. This time around, twelve main characters are the thieves. Ron Weasley is not in this story. I shall tell you, Hermione and Harry are mortals and if it pisses you off, read another story because this is my fanfic and I'll do whatever I want to it. If I decide to kill Harry, he will die. Sorry. I know I'm sounding snotty but that should clear up ALL flames. Jeesh, if you say I'm a @#$% for having them meet at a diner not in the movie, well uh… yeah sorry. 

OKEY DOKEY THEN! Here are the characters. (As I forgot the characters names, I'll say the person they play from the movie.)

I have Danny Ocean (You know? George Clooney)

Hermione Bessaurily (Julia Roberts)

Harry Potter (Brad Pitt)

Jerry Bessaurily (Andy Garcia) 

Hong Shin (The Chinese dude, sorry forgot name)

Jay Renner (Casey Affleck)

Tay Krinner (Casey's friend)

Trent Quinn (Computer man)

Dave Friendlin (The man who robbed the bank but almost got arrested in the beginning)

Aaron Wright (Matt Damon)

Henry Mack (Old guy suffering from lack of vitamins)

AND A NEW CHARACTER! 

Surprise- A girl

Kirsten Colms (Feisty lady robber who uses wits and looks to dazzle the unexpected)

Jonathan

Your either in or your out… what's it going to be?

It all depends on the… ahem… Circumstances.

Circumstances?

Yes.

Money? Well in terms… we are talking 8 figures… If that's enough of course.

Surely we can do better.

Best not to get greedy.

Yes, well, fine then.

Your decision?

I'm In.

Good.

"What's your name sir?"

"Danny Ocean."

"Why did you commit this crime… any state of affairs led you to it?"

"My wife… left me… and I was angry."

"What would you do if you were to be let out of prison?"

Danny smiled.

He walked to the door, pressed a red shining button and walked out as the gate slid open. "Goodbye Ocean," a guard said peacefully as Danny left the premises. He waved a hand of gratitude and felt the cold, harsh, outside breeze hit his body cruelly. 

"So Danny… what do you do now?" he asked himself. "I think I know…" He began.

Club Red aka Club Color

He walked right through the doors of the building and into an aura of complete foolishness. Dancing… all kinds if you get my drift, drinking… vodka, martini's, bloody maries. There was also lots of gambling. HE taught it. He taught people how to play blackjack, or craps… any kind of game. Poker for instance was a usual favorite for people to learn. The catch was he taught celebrities to play it. So, as he sat in that circular, dimmed, midnight blue covered room, and gadgets with colored water floated behind the players as people danced erotically behind glass panes for them, he was almost tired of his occupation and fed up with teaching Katie Holms how to deal a card when all of a sudden, he got a call to go fetch some trouble makers at the mini bar. When he came back, exhausted with the fact that the call was a false mistake, he almost didn't notice a man, mysterious, playing blackjack at the table with the celebrities. That man looked up and smiled a very mystifying grin.

"Hello Harry," the man said.

"Danny," Harry replied curiously. "What brings you here?" he said as he pulled up a wooden chair to the marble table.

"Business."

"Really?"

"If you don't mind me asking… Mr…?" Topher Grace said next to Danny.

"Mr. Ocean, fellow."

"Yes, Mr. Ocean, what's your occupation."

"Theft." 

"Oh, er… okay then," Topher said nervously.

"He puts his life on the line for jewels, money, the usual bonds," Harry filled everyone in.

"Right then, let's get back to playing," Danny said.

Harry stared at him. Danny stared back. Topher broke the tension.

"I put in lets see… five fifty dollar chips. That's 250 bucks…" Topher said ecstatically. 

"You must have something good," Danny muttered quietly but just loud enough for everyone to hear. "I lay down 300 dollars."

The players looked at him.

"Barry? Why do you have six cards? It's a five card game…" Harry said as he monitored everyone.

"Woops," Barry said and discarded one of his own.

"350 dollars," Katie said slyly. 

Barry put in around ten chips.

"500 dollars."

"1,000 dollars…" Danny said.

"I fold," Katie said indignantly. 

"1,500," Topher said as a bead of sweat flowed down from his forehead.

"I fold also," Barry gave in and laid his cards on the table.

"2,000," Danny said and put some bills in the center.

"Alright, if you must, show us your cards. I'm putting in 3,000 dollars in the jackpot to make the winnings 8,900 dollars from this round--" Topher began but stopped abruptly as Danny put down four nines and an ace. 

"I'm afraid it will be hard to beat this," Danny alleged.

"Nah… ALL REDS! HA!" Topher yelled and laid down cards that were all red with no particular style in winnings. Harry laughed… in frustration and in pure humor.

Outside Club Red

Harry fixed his tuxedo, ran a hand through his hair which was brown with specks of blond in some areas. It was extremely short, he had no glasses. Instead he wore contacts. His eyes were hazel and he had a few whiskers here and there but had a shaven face. His body was very well-built. Danny, well, you can have your own opinions about him.

"What do you want?" Harry said as he walked along side Danny past lines of people waiting to get into the club.

"I have a heist in planning." 

"Another one, eh?"

"Yeah… and--"

"You want me to go along with you?" Harry said smartly. Danny turned and faced him. 

"Your either in or your out… what's it going to be?"

"It all depends on the… ahem… Circumstances," Harry said.

"Circumstances?"

"Yes."

"Money? Well in terms… we are talking 8 figures… If that's enough of course."

"Surely we can do better."

"Best not to get greedy."

"Yes, well, fine then."

"Your decision?"

"I'm In."

"Good."

"But, you should know by now, Danny, that I'm not always in it for money."

"Then what are you in it for?"

"I don't know… satisfaction? What about… YOU?"

"Same… I guess."

"I'll call you tonight. You won't expect me. You won't know it's me. Just follow my orders," Danny uttered to Harry as they stood on the curb outside of a busy store. 

"Taxi!" Harry yelled as he nodded his head. A yellow cab pulled over to him.

"Goodbye old friend… for now," Harry said and shook Danny's hand.

Within seconds, Harry was off. Danny waited on the curb for minutes… lots of them. And finally, he took out his Motorola cell-phone and dialed Harry's number from his address book in his coat pocket.

The signal was static and raucous but eventually ringing picked up. Then a "Hello?"

"Harry, it's Danny."

"Hello."

"Meet me at Joe's Diner in 15 minutes. Be on time. If your not there by 12:15, I'm leaving."

The phone on the other line hung up. Danny knew Harry had understood. The leaves from nearby trees fell from their branches, the midnight air whistled. Cars zoomed by as lights flashed from store windows. Danny paced about a block to a little diner. It was long but minute in size. A chubby sign on the window read, "Hamburger Special $2.00." Danny went in.

As he found a table, he realized his Rolex read 12:15 in twenty seconds. 

"Well," Danny laughed as he sipped some coffee. "I guess he has become very unpunctual since we last met four years ago."

The door burst open just as Danny stood up to leave.

"Thank god you're here," Harry gasped, out of breath. He grabbed a chair opposite of Danny. It was dark in the pub and very quiet.

"I rushed down here. I was in the shower when you called and saw it was 12:07 when I left."

"What will you be having to eat sir?" the female waitress asked Harry.

"A coffee with two scoops of cream and a little milk," Danny cut in.

"I see you still know what kind of coffee I like," Harry said, impressed.

"Yes… see long time friends, you should know what I like…"

"No," Harry edged off.

"Decaf, keep it in your head."

"So, business. What business is there to discuss?" Harry asked quietly as he leaned back in his chair.

"My plan is to rob the three most money-making casinos in Las Vegas… all at once. All in one night."

"How the hell would you do that?" Harry said.

"There is only 3 hotels who store all their money in the same vault. That vault cost over sixty million dollars to create alone. There's double of that in the vaults."

"What hotel stores all of this money?"  
"The Bessaulair (A/N I am so sorry I forgot what the casino name is called so I'm looking into it.) stores it all. We will rob it."

"Just us?"

"Of course not…"

Harry drank his coffee.

"Check please!" Danny signaled from his seat.

At Clark Gable's fancy mansion in the hills of Los Angeles

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND!?" he yelled as he ate a turkey leg.

"No, Clark. We will rob that casino."

"YEAH RIGHT! LAND YOURSELF YEARS IN PRISON."

"May I say, 'again?'" Harry laughed.

"I will tell you, there has only been three successful robberies from Las Vega casinos. One--

A man runs through the casino shooting his gun and hitting people continuously. Then, he gets shot in the ass with a dart right when he opens the door.

TWO--

A man runs through the lobby with bills all in his arms. He runs right past a guard who punches him in the face.

"He actually breathed air too!" Clark said jubilantly. 

THREE--

A man runs out into the open spilling money and hitting people along the way and officers shoot him in the back multiple times.

"He got the farthest boys!" Clark yelled.

"How big of a crew would we need to pull this off? We know it's just not a one man job," Danny explained.

"Hmm, a computer guy, good acrobatics man, good stealers, good drivers, good multiple identity people… I'd say around nine people."

"Nine… got it. Thanks Clark," Harry said as he wiped his mouth from his meal and stood up.

"If we need y our help, we'll call you," Danny said.

They began to walk off as Clark got up screaming, "WAIT WAIT!"

They turned around.

"I'll be monitoring you guys. In Las Vegas AND in planning."

"Catch you on the flip side then," Harry said and flicked the cuff of his shirt up.


	2. Part 2- We have five more to get-

Oceans 12 

When one man gets out, you wind up in

Hello everyone,

Hopefully my first part got good ratings and ovations because I really put in work to make this story possible. Sure it takes me one day to write a chapter and less than a hour to write it but.. Well… yeah.. I am not copying everything. This is a parody. I use a lot of things that happened in the movie. You'll see things I changed eventually. This is Part 2 and the third, fourth, and fifth thief comes along. Meet Hong Shin, Trent Quinn, and Henry Mack. Well, anyhow, I want to continue this story badly so read and review!

Jonathan

Why are we in a carnival?

It's a circus.

Circus. Okay then. We are in a circus. Why?

Meet Hong Shin.

Not interested.

Racist are you?

No, but if he's in this act where they fly all over poles and act like strippers, he's not in.

Well Hong Shin is in this next act.

Great.. He's a stripper.

No.

Fine. You can have your opinions.

No.. no.. I'm being unreasonable. Let me see his talent.

Good. Now Hong Shin is from Beijing and has been doing these acts for several years. He's about 23 years old. 

Okay, bring the act on.

I must admit, Chinese men flying on poles is quite amusing.

See, now you're a racist.

Actually, racist means.. Well.. I can't put it in the exact words of the English Dictionary, but--

Oh, shut up.

Harry's office- HG Corporates

"Get some maps out of all the blueprints of the casino," Danny instructed as he searched some white folders.

Harry searched and came up with a few in a folder titled Casino Bassaulair.

"Here!" Harry said and tossed some blueprints to Harry who walked to the table and spread them out. Harry turned on the desk light.

"I see now… there are guards almost every twenty meters. It will be hard to get past them unless we take the back routes through ventilation systems and laser portals," Danny thought as he ran a finger over the copy.

"We can make copies at my apartment.." Harry said.

Harry's apartment

"Nice," Danny said, astonished.

"Thanks, I bought it for more than your car is worth."

Harry walked over to his copy machine as Danny felt the Italian leather and stared at paintings worth at least a few thousand bucks.

When the copies were done, Harry stared at the wall.

"What?" Danny asked.

"Is this about Hermione? To get revenge at Jerry Bassaurily? If it is.. I'm walking right out that door and never coming back to your heist's again."

"No! Of course not.." Danny trailed off.

"What is it about, dammit!? Harry yelled.

"Calm down! It's about just doing something again to have fun.." Danny said. They both walked to the elevator. Danny put his hand on Harry's shoulder.

"If it was about Hermione, I would be so desperate, I wouldn't be getting help from my associates. Okay? It's about pleasure, money, exuberance.. not a woman who is my ex-wife. You can think it all you want. I would never ditch my links if my soul purpose of life depended on it.. unless they ditched me."

"That was a good speech. Rehearsed?"

"Yeah.. too fast?" Danny asked as he adjusted his tie.

"No! It was real good."

They walked into the elevator and stood there, leaning against the wall, hands in their pockets.

"Sure it wasn't to fast because it was my first time?"

"Nope, just fine."

Circus of Renée

"Welcome one and all to the Circus of Renée. Our next imaginable act is these men.. dancing on poles, in complete motion, while attached by nothing!" the show commentator announced.

The curtains spread apart and two vertical white, thin poles appeared with six men on each pole with tights on and a taut shirt. They immediately, on the count of a four beat whistle, started to move on the poles. Hands in the air, holding on to those batons with their feet. 

"How could we use Hong Shin?" Danny asked as he examined their movements.

"He's at the top of the pole! Did you ever know that the pole he's on, which is the right one, is the highest ranked one. He's number one in aerobatics and the left pole at the bottom in the twelve ranked man," Harry explained as he ate a fry.

"Interesting," Danny said as he rubbed his chin.

"He's in," Harry said as they exited the tent holding the acts.

"Good," Danny thought and he walked to his dark blue state of the art Porsche.

"Good wheels," Harry said swiftly and rubbed his hand across the side.

"No touch, just waxed," Danny said and hit his hand away.

"Oh, like your car is your life," Harry said.

"We got married in '98."

"I guess you made love to her too?"

"With constant amounts of attention, cleaning, and sweet talk."

"Okay then," Harry commented and jumped over the door to land firmly in the French leather seat.

"Comfortable."

"Yes.. I spent over one million dollars polishing this car up.." Danny said.

"Nice.." Harry commented.

The Meeting of Trent Quinn and Henry Mack

A man, around sixty in age, got his ticket and began to walk towards the door leading outside. Crowds gathered to watch the Greyhound Races.

Harry approached him and sat down in a seat to his right.

"Hi Henry," Harry said without looking at him.

"It's you. I saw you come out of the bathroom, watch me behind the pillar, follow me twenty paces behind.."

"Amazing," Harry said.

"What do you want?" Henry asked as he read the newspaper.

"Danny is starting another heist. He wants you in it. So do I. It's a high stake robbery with over 100 million at grabs."

Henry turned to gasp at Harry.

"After all, you are the Identity Stealer.. in or out?"

"I'll give in."

He began peeling an orange.

"Why are you eating an orange. You never eat fruit. You eat crackers.. and drink vodka."

"My doctor says I have vitamin lack. So I got to eat lots of food with vitamins in it."

"Oh.. okay then. Meet me and Danny at the local Strip Club at eleven o'clock. Be on time."

Harry put on his sunglasses, straightened his shirt and walked off.

The local strip club

They were all sitting together in the back of the club as girls danced erotically for men in the front.

"So, your all in?" Danny asked as he drank his martini.

They all nodded.

"Good. Now we can discuss plans. We have five more people to get to work with us. It will be soon, I promise.

"Who will they be?" Trent asked.

"I have a feeling Tay and Jay are going to be recruited."

"WHAT?" Harry yelled as he spit out all his wine. "Those dimwits? The shittiest of all shitheads around?"

"They are superb drivers, Harry," Danny said sternly.

"Right," Harry said sarcastically.

Hong Shin said something in Chinese. Danny replied back.

"He just wants to know how much money will be involved.

"Does he even know where he is? Because, uh, I don't speak Chinese. I explained everything to him, he nodded, and I walked off. He doesn't speak English! How an we use him?"

"He says, 'You're an idiot'," Danny cracked.

"I'll punch him!"

"He.. says you're a bastard."

"That's you talking!" Harry yelled.

Everyone stared at Harry.

Meanwhile, in Las Vegas

"Mr. Bessaurily! How glad I am to see you!" Clark said delightfully and shook his hand. "Casino is in order I see.. brilliant work!"

"Who are you?" Jerry asked as guards apprehended Clark. 

"Your new best friend.." he muttered under his breath. "WATCH THE SUIT! It's three thousand dollars."

"Taste is great to you.." Jerry said as he straightened his own five thousand dollar tuxedo. "So.. who are you?"

"You are blowing up my freaking casino next week! I'm Clark Gable.. Your trusty corporate partner," Clark grunted and the guards let go of him.

"Oh! Yes.. pleased to meet a new face-- I mean old face! Not that your old, or rusty, or very bad looking," Jerry said as he cocked his head.

"I get the picture.." Clark griped.

"Follow me! My wife, Hermione Bessaurily would be pleased to meet you!" Jerry exclaimed and led him to a private elevator on the east wall.

"Here we are.." Jerry said. "My beautiful and caring wife, Hermione."

A lady with her hair, stringy, in a bun with a great complexion walked in. Her slender body tossed back and forth and her tan silk dress wrapped around her body sensually.

"Please to me you," Clark said and bent down to kiss her hand. She felt intimidated.

"As to you. Honey, we have dinenr plans tonight. Will be still be going?" she turned to ask her husband.

"Yes dear. Just a moment though."

She smiled and went to sit on the couch in the sitting room. She adjusted her earrings and applied some more makeup when her partner strided over.

"I'm ready honey," he said sexily.

"Good, and then we can come back and--" she whispered something in his ear. Jerry lit up and smiled. "Good good," he said and leaned her down. Hermione's perfect leg up onto his waist and they kissed passionately. Clark and the guards watched with drooling mouths.


	3. Part 3- The Meeting has started-

Oceans 12

When one man gets out, you wind up in

Hi all,

This is the third part where the last five are recruited and the special meeting takes place. One character, special time is taken out for because it's a unique new scene. I'm seeing Ocean's 11 again today so I can catch up on it again even though I saw it two days ago. This is the third part for the third day I've written the story. You can expect if I'm correct probably around 7 or 8 parts with the whole vault stuff and the preparations will be like 3 or 4 parts. Oh, the introduction is 3 parts. Do the math. The ending will be extra long. So around 17-19 parts. Good.

Jonathan

San Diego Dodge Racetrack

"Go," said Tay.

"Hold on…" Jay laughed and fiddled around with the control box.

"Come on you asshole, press the button!" Tay yelled angrily.

"I'm waiting for you, sissy!"

"Don't make me get out of this car and beat you like third period French!"

Jay took out the antenna and pressed a red button on the control. The remote control car flew off quickly and Tay stepped on the gas. Seeing that the other car was beating him, he sped over into his lane and ran over him. The remote control car sputtered and blew up.

"Shit," Jay said calmly.

Los Angeles Bank

"Alright lads, we got the explosives on the vault?"

"All clear."

"Good, now we all best step back behind this wall…" the man said.

They took cover on the other side and a black man, named Dave Friendlin pressed a blue square on a detonator. All of a sudden, huge crackings blew up from every angle. Then, the vault broke open. Dave laughed and got up.

"In we go!" he said excitedly.

As soon as he entered, the alarm went off.

"You had ONE freaking job!" he turned to yell at his comrades.

"You sure you didn't booby trap the money?" an officer asked Dave as he led him outside.

"Do I look like a man who would booby trap money?"

The officer shrugged. At that moment, a man walked up to him.

"Sir, did you search this man?" he asked.

"No sir, who are you?"

"I am Harry Potter with the SIA. Let me search him since your dimwittedness has obviously killed you."

"What!?" the officer asked and put up a fist.

"FINE FRED!"

"Who the hell--?"

"JUST FUCKEN FIND FRED!"

The officer yelped and ran off.

"Hello Dave," Harry said.

"Hello Harry, what brings you here? Danny have a plan?"

"Yep… c'mon," he answered and they took off as soon as they were quite a ways away, the police car exploded.

"They didn't see that coming!" Dave laughed.

Chicago Subway

A man was reading the newspaper, his white shirt dangling under his red coat. He adjusted his glasses and looked at the man beside him. All of a sudden, he faked a bumping into the man and grabbed his wallet in the inside pocket of his coat. He didn't say 'Sorry,' he just continued on with his reading.

Danny stood there looking at him.

As soon as the train stopped, Danny caught up to the robber and put a note in his pocket. When the guy reached his car, he pulled out his keys and the note.

****

Aaron,

Good lift.

__

Daniel Ocean, Meet me at Emmit's Pub.

Aaron stood there, stunned.

Emmit's Pub

Aaron Wright walked in and saw a man, Danny Ocean sitting by himself.

"Your either in or you out, right now."

Aaron grabbed a seat and picked up a pamphlet off the table, under Danny's hand without him knowing.

"Best grab yet."

Aaron shrugged.

A house in San Diego

A van pulled up onto the paved driveway.

The doorbell rang.

Clark Gable answered it.

There stood the guys… dressed in crummy suits and looking sad.

"You've got to be kidding me," Clark said disgustingly.

Outside they ate and drank wine. Hong Shin build a car house on top of a diving board. Then, Danny came out.

"Eating, I see. Good. If you feel robbing high-teck casinos with million dollar sums in them is not your brand of vodka, leave now."

"No one moved."

"Then come in."

Everyone followed except Aaron. Clark approached him.

"Your Ronald Wright's son aren't you?"

Aaron nodded. There was an awkward pause. 

"Get the hell in that house now," Clark demanded.

"Damn," Aaron muttered as he walked off. 

"Were all here. Good," Danny said. There were pictures of vault blueprints on the television screen. Danny nodded. Tay pushed a button and the blueprints began to move like you were walking around the area.

"Casinos must rake in certain amounts of money by law. On weekdays, 50-60 million. Weekends, 70-80 million, and on Fight Nights, 150-160 million like the one 2 weeks from now. Were going to rob the vaults on that night. It will be difficult but do not underestimate plans. We must get into the private vault areas with official casino badges--"

"Which we don't have," Harry said.

"And fingerprint identities--"

"Which we'll never get," Harry cut in.

"And voice verification--"

"Which we will never have," Harry ended.

"So, this is how we do it. We get one of you to meet with Mr. Bessaulair, take the elevator, stop it in the tracks as someone else causes a diversion with the security camera guards. You climb out of the elevator and hoist yourself down past over seventy lasers which detect motion. When you get down, you get the guards, put automatic bombs on the vault doors and blow it up, the lasers will go off inside that vault. It will be easier to explain later on. Got it?" Danny said easily.

"So, were supposed to get into the security hallways with tags we don't have, voices we can't get, and fingerprints we can't fake?" Henry asked.

Danny stood there. "Yes."

"Oh… okay…" Henry stuttered and ate a mint.

"So it's like a smash and grab job?" Aaron asked.

"Slightly more complicated then that," Harry said.

"There's one way to start. Build an exact replica of the Bellagio Vault…"

Secret Warehouse, Las Vegas, across the street from Bellagio

Boxes piled across rollers as the thieves put in fake money and screwed in windows. 

"Will this work?" Aaron asked cautiously.

"Why wouldn't it?" Harry replied.

(Danny's voice talking while everyone works)

"You will go into the casino and find out everything from what the security guards like as their coffee, what way the dealers deal, when the change carts come by… everything."

  



End file.
